How Do I Make Working Out a Lifestyle?

I’ve been asked this question a lot, and while I think there are a plethora of answers out there about “finding your why”, I think there’s just a bit more to it than that. Yes, knowing WHY you want to workout in the first place is helpful in getting you out the door, setting goals, etc, but there’s so much more to it than that, in my opinion.

I recommend grabbing a piece of paper (or blank screen) and brainstorming your own answers to the questions below. You might just find out some things about yourself that you didn’t know along with some ways to make working out more consistent for you.

• Do you like group classes? Prefer to do it solo? Partner training?
  • Group classes: endless! Barre, spin, yoga (and so many variations within that), pilates, CrossFit, boxing, circuits, etc
  • Solo or partner training: gym membership, with a trainer, or home-gym 
• Do you like having a coach, or are you self-motivating?
  • If you like having a coach, do you need them right in front of you to keep you accountable, or is having one on-line checking in on you enough? If you have an on-line coach, do you require daily, weekly, or monthly check-ins?
• What’s most important to you while working out? Do you like hard workouts that get you sweaty?  Seeing your strength increase? Learning new skills? Short or long workouts? Intense or slow burners? Making your mind work as hard as your body (I love CrossFit for this as it’s always teaching me new skills), or do you like to zone out and know exactly what’s coming next? Each has their benefits – but it always comes down to what YOU like.
• What time of day are you MOST likely to stick to it? Least likely?
• How new to working out are you? Brand new? (If so – definitely get to a trainer if you can, even for 6-8 sessions to learn proper form and pinch out bad habits before they start). Intermediate? Advanced?
• If your workouts rely on others, when are they most likely to be able to help you? For example, if your partner consistently works late, maybe signing up for 5pm classes isn't going to be the best of ideas if you need them for childcare.
• How much time realistically do you have to invest in working out daily? Weekly? If you only have 30 minutes a day to workout but keep signing up for 1-hour classes and then missing them, is that really helping you make it a consistent habit?
• Do you have any performance goals? Racing, lifting competitions, a weight you want to hit, a skill you want to master? If the answer is YES, do you have enough knowledge to do it on your own, or would you benefit from a one-on-one coach or a group coaching setting to not only train you but also keep you accountable?
• What do you ENJOY doing? Are you doing an activity because everyone does it or you want a particular body type? Or are you doing it because it boosts your confidence, gives you energy, and leaves you feeling happy you did it once it’s over? Spoiler alert: I ask if you feel awesome AFTER, instead of during, because yes, sometimes exerting yourself will make your muscles or lungs burn;) I’m not a believer in working out so hard you’re sore after every single workout, but I am a believer in giving as much effort into a workout as your body (and mind) allows you to that day. On days I really really don’t want to workout at all but I still go – I don’t beat myself up if I’m not doing 100% of what I’m capable of that day – I celebrate that I actually made it there at all. Days when I’m feeling great? Yes, go for it.

There are some you'll need to give a little on - unfortunately we can't have ALL the things at once. Perhaps you're not a morning person but that's literally the only time of day you can get it done. Or maybe you love group training but can only make it once a week - you may need to find ways to do shorter solo workouts at home on the other days.

It’s a little more than just “finding your why” when it comes to working out. Create the easiest path for yourself to work out, so that it CAN become part of your regular routine. Removing as many barriers as possible will make it that much easier to lace up each time.

Let me know below if this exercise was helpful for you, and what ONE thing you learned about yourself that you are going to apply going forward!

P.S. Summer Strength is available right here if you're looking for 20-30 minute at-home workouts requiring nothing more than dumbbells.

Easy-grab snacks

For those days when you need something you can quickly grab and eat on the go, these are two of my favourite nutrient (and calorie) dense go-to's. They're also two of the standard items I drop off on a new mama's door step to get her through those long nights.

Granola Cups

• 2/3 cup cold pressed coconut oil
•  1/2 cup honey 
• 1/2 cup peanut butter (or other nut butter)
• ½ tsp pure vanilla extract 
• 1 cup buckwheat flour or maca flour 
• 3 scoops chocolate or vanilla protein powder
• 1 cup oat bran 
• 1 cup whole rolled oats 
• 1 cup dark chocolate chips (or carob chips, or raisins) 
• 2/3 cup unsweetened coconut flakes 
• 1 tsp sea salt 

Heat coconut oil, honey, and nut butter together first to make it easier to mix. Mix all ingredients together in a bowl. Spray or coat mini muffin tin with coconut oil, and press mixture into pan. Bake at 350 for 12 minutes. Cool completely before removing from the pan, to avoid them falling apart.

Energy Balls

• 1 cup oatmeal
• 1/2 cup nut butter
• 1/2 cup honey
• 1/2 cup dried coconut
• 1/2 cup ground flax seed
• 1/4 cup choc. chips
• 1/4 cup dried cranberries
• 2-3 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp salt
• Optional: 3 TB brewers yeast (you can skip this, but if you're breastfeeding, brewers yeast is considered to help with milk production)

I usually heat the honey and nut butter together first, to make it a little easier to mix. Mix all ingredients together in a bowl, and roll into bite-sized balls. Voila.

I've used almond butter, hazelnut butter, and peanut butter on their own, as well as done combinations of two together.

Your Non-Negotiables for Thriving

Non-negotiables.

The thing(s) that you need regular doses of in your life in order to thrive – or at least be closer to the thrive end of the spectrum than just surviving.

My husband and I had a great chat over breakfast this morning discussing what our non-negotiables are and making plans for each of us to get more of them in our daily or weekly lives. “Non-negotiable” being the thing that not only makes us feel like we can breath deeper and more calmly DURING the activity, but that also carry over into the rest of our day, week, or month. Mine? Working out. Not much of a surprise what it is, but the surprise is how long it’s taken me to get to the realization just HOW important it is to me. Not just working out, but going to my favourite CrossFit gym and getting coached by someone else, surrounded by a stand-up group of people ready to do it with you. My husband said his is alone time. Like, ACTUALLY alone time. Not just me being out while the toddler naps (‘cause you know you are never “OFF” when they’re napping). I think it’s kind of funny that mine is to go surround myself with a bunch of sweating people throwing weights around to loud music, and his is to surround himself in the silent company of simply himself. There is absolutely no right or wrong – I’m sure in a group of 100 people there’d be 101 different answers to “what is your non-negotiable?”

For me, identifying this as a non-negotiable made me realize a few things:

1. Just HOW important it is to take care of ourselves
2. That we need to ask for help to make these things happen or they just won't (usually)
3. Sometimes the things that we label as "too much to ask for" or "selfish" are actually REALLY important to our well-being.

For so many months I've felt like if I have childcare I need to work, to make money to pay for the childcare. Finally, I started going to the gym, and while that makes me zero dollars, I FEEL so much better that day and the day following.

Sometimes, we NEED to be selfish. "Selfish" doesn't have to have a negative connotation associated with it.

The idea behind this is that we want to thrive a little more, just not survive day-to-day. Becoming parents has drained us both and we’ve seen it in ourselves and each other. We know we need to give some attention to our self-care, and addressing our non-negotiables is our starting point.

Where this idea of non-negotiables came about was last week while listening to the Tony Robbins podcast on the 6 human needs (episode from Sep.16/16). Tony identifies 6 profound needs – needs that  are beyond desires or goals – that every human is trying to fulfil. They are: certainty, uncertainty (or variety), significance, love & connection, growth, and contribution. The basis of the podcast discusses how these needs drive our every action, but for me the take-away was something profound for where I’m currently at.

Tony’s findings are that if one thing in your life manages to fulfil 3 out of the 6 needs, you’ll become addicted to it – this “thing” could positive or negative. 

While listening to the podcast, I realized that going to gym fulfils not one, but FIVE of my human needs. The gym is my non-negotiable. For me, it hits certainty (I know I’m going at these regularly set times and day), uncertainty/variety (the workouts are different every single day), connection (as an entrepreneur and stay-at-home mom I crave adult interaction with like-minded people), and growth (skill building & PRs).

If you had to name ONE thing, that not only brings you joy or calm during in the moment but carries into the rest of your day or week – what would it be? I’d love to hear what yours is below in the comments!

P.S. In case movement is one of the things that helps your sanity, my Summer Strength program is on sale for $39 for the August long weekend until Monday night (Aug.3/18-Aug.6th/18)! Click here to join today.

Re-writing your rules of working out

I wrote this entry 2 months ago, but I never did hit publish. However, my upcoming posts will make a lot more sense if you have the back story. The story of the rise is only complete if it begins with the story of the fall.

My Rules:

• Squats have to be below 90 degrees.
• When working out, do what you enjoy.
• Workouts should be structured and programmed.
• Trainers need to have their shit together - in the gym and in the kitchen.
• Country music isn't working out music.

All false.

All things I at one time believed, and made myself abide by. Except maybe the country music part, I've been deadlifting to Eric Church for years.

If there's one thing I love(d), it's structure. Routine. Rules. Rules keep things in order, and leave no room for second-guessing.

But what happens when your routine is broken? When there is no structure? When your whole life and what you thought you knew is turned up side down?

The rules then become handcuffs, road blocks, complete show-stoppers.

It has taken me 15 months postpartum to realize this. FIFTEEN MONTHS.

I used to LOVE my (almost) daily workouts. I couldn't wait to go. My whole schedule was set around them. Prep time for pre-workout pancakes. Post-workout socializing. Staying in my workout clothes just a little longer than socially (more like hygienically) acceptable. Getting stronger, fine-tuning skill work. Defining myself based on my physical strength.

When my routine was halted by pregnancy joint pain, followed by the postpartum whirlwind, then adding on ongoing injuries and pain, none of my rules worked anymore.

I can't squat below 90 without pain.

I have zero, and I mean zero, desire to go to the gym. 

When I try to structure myself a program, at the first sign of pain I write the whole thing off, again. Over and over.

I definitely don't have my shit together in the gym or in the kitchen. Unless macaroni and cheese and chocolate have been added to the "top foods trainers recommend list" since I last checked.

Country music is still good:)

I'm taking a new approach to working out as of this week. And I'm not sure I even want to call it working out for now. That brings too much pressure with it.

I'm calling it movement. I'm calling it therapy.

If you've ever been to therapy, you know how much the drive there sucks, because you know you're going to have to get uncomfortable. While therapy is beneficial, the act itself kinda sucks. You know in a few days, a few weeks, a few months, after repeatedly going, the therapy will pay off. But you have to continually do something uncomfortable that you really don't want to do, over and over, to get there.

So, this is how I'm viewing movement now. It's a part of my mental health therapy, and while I don't want to do it, I know over the long term it will pay off. And I am not talking paying off in jean size here. I could actually give less f@cks if I ever fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans again. I am much more concerned about clearing the mental fog, reducing the postpartum rage, and bringing more laughter into my life again.

So. I'm changing the rules.

The New Rules:

• Squats look like whatever feels good for your body.
• Sometimes working out won't be fun, you might not even *love* or enjoy it. But sometimes you have to buck up and do it anyways, knowing you will be better for it.
• Just move in various ways, consistently. Stop stressing about the "best program.”
• Trainers are human, they're going to mess up, and that's okay. More than okay. And hi, same goes for everybody else, because, well, we're all human.
• Move to whatever music you are feeling. Or silence. It really doesn't matter.

I'm requiring a 30 minute commitment to movement from myself. Tonight I wrote a workout on the board, it was a little optimistic, but I wrote it out anyways. When I got to 30 minutes, I had completed the strength portion but hadn't made it to the met con yet. I didn't feel like it, I wanted to be done. I had given my 30 minutes, so I turned off Eric and called it a night. It was still a success, still a checkmark for the day. And this - THIS is a HUGE checkmark for my mindset. Two years ago what I did tonight would be a warm-up. "Half-assed." "Quitter." Not anymore.

I would encourage you to write down and look at the rules you have created for yourself. Are they helping you, truly? If not, how can you alter them?

If you're feeling the need to add movement to your day, email me or comment below with what is holding you back the most right now.

Simplifying Weekly Meal Planning

Meal planning and choices can get so overwhelming, time-consuming, and cause a lot of stress in your day or week. I’ve compiled 5 tips to help you #makefoodeasy. Our basic formula: plan + remove choice + keep it simple.

#1: The Pantry Make-Over

It starts with your pantry, fridge, and freezer – what’s in there? This might sound super straight forward, but what you keep stocked and on-hand regularly will help a TON when it comes to de-stressing your weekly meal routine. 

Take a look in your pantry, fridge, and freezer right now, and take note of how many things you have that 

fall into the following categories:

1. Vegetables & fruits: fresh, or frozen

2. Starchy carbs: rice, bread, quinoa, pasta, couscous, barley, oats, etc.

3. Meat: Beef, poultry, fish, pork, or meat alternatives.

4. Fats: olive oil, avocado oil, sesame oil, coconut oil, butter, nut butters, avocado, etc.

How did you do? How many in each category do you have? Do you ENJOY eating the ones you do have?

The first step is to identify a few items in each category that you LIKE to eat. Eating healthy does not mean filing your plate each day with things you detest eating. Rule #1 is your food must be enjoyable. It just has to be. If you hate it, the changes won’t stick.

Tip: If you’re constantly throwing out vegetables and fruits because they’ve gone bad, I highly recommend getting frozen – crisp vegetables either by roasting in the oven or on the BBQ to avoid that frozen vegetable mushy texture;)

#2: The Meal Plan

Before you worry that this is where it gets complicated, or I’m going to ask you to go out and buy 35 tupperware containers - I assure you none of that is going to happen. I’m going to use supper as my example for meal planning here because I see that’s where most clients struggle – it’s a chaotic time of day, you’re tired, and you just want to eat.

But first, two things I want you to remember when it comes to meals:

1. They do NOT need to look instagram worthy. Stop the madness. This is about feeling satiated, fueling you and your family for everything you do from morning to night. It does not need to look pretty, or even make sense. Sometimes, the dinner’s that make the least sense end up being our favourite! Steak and pancakes? Why the heck not.
2. Every single meal doesn’t need to be restaurant deliciousness. If I could, I would eat steak, pasta, and cheesecake every night. I am NOT saying food should be bland, boring, and look like bodybuilder meals from the 90’s with nothing more than steamed vegetables and some sort of meat patty in Tupperware. But, get over the idea that each meal should be absolutely award winning. Simplifying my weekday meals and knowing they are to literally fuel me through my day chasing my daughter, getting in the odd workout, and keeping me from being a moody biatch, allows me take some pressure off of creating epic meals every night.

Grab your meal planning sheet and write out one item from each of these categories for dinner each night: vegetables, starchy carb, meat. Done and done. That’s it. You now have a balanced meal.

There are no rules on what meat goes with which veg and which starch. It sounds too easy, I know. But the less choices we leave for ourselves each night the better! Choices suck when you’re tired and hungry. Want even simpler? Do veg & meat only if you’re feeling like you don’t need as much starchy carbs (ie. moving less, sitting more).

But what about fats? That’s the easy part. Drizzle some olive oil on your vegetables, roast your sweet potato with butter or coconut oil, Toss some chopped almonds or walnuts on your salad, or roast seeds with your vegetables. And depending on your cut of meat, there will be some naturally occurring there, as well.

#3: The Grocery Shop

Grocery shopping. It’s no small feat. Make it as simple and uncomplicated as possible. Remove all the choices AHEAD of time by doing your pantry check and meal plan, so that when you get in the store you aren’t standing around scratching your head wondering if you saw chicken in your fridge or just Frank’s Red Hot.

1. Schedule a day(s) to shop. Get it down to as few days as you can. If you’re saying, “but I don’t have time to do a big shop once a week”, think about how much time it takes you to drive to and from the grocery store every 2 days. Try even for twice a week if you’re currently doing more. Find a day and time each week when there typically isn’t something booked, and/or your partner or caregiver can watch your kid(s). Schedule it into your calendar the same way you would a doctor’s appointment – keep your appointment to yourself! 
2. Select your shopping method. Groceries are available in many more options lately. In Calgary we have Spud who does front door drop-off, and Superstore who has on-line shopping with a park & pick-up option (you park, call them, and they load your groceries right into your car – absolutely saved us in early postpartum in the middle of winter!!). Check your local resources!
3. MAKE A LIST. Do it. You know what you need from the action steps in days 1 & 2 and this will save you SO much time.

Hot tip: as you get familiar with your local grocery store, make your list in the order of the way it goes in the store. I know, sounds crazy, but I can visualize the store in my head, so as I type my list into my phone each week I put things in the order I walk through the store. No looping back and forth. In. Out. Done.

Start your grocery list as soon as you see something runs out, so that you don’t have to write the entire thing on Sunday morning. I promise you will get faster and faster at this as you do it more and more.

I know you’re shaking your head saying, this is all so basic. Guess what, basics are where it’s at.  What’s the saying? 80% preparation 20% action? Ya that.

Keep it simple, remove as much choice from your day as possible, and keep it uncomplicated. 

#4: Flavour it up

Initially this might be the intimidating part, but as you create and experiment it gets easier and easier. If you’re starting off, I recommend typing two ingredients into google with “recipe” on the end, and see what comes up. For example, “chicken thighs cilantro recipe”. Up will pop a billion options of recipes that include chicken and cilantro, and by opening a few (no more than 3 – remember, keep it SIMPLE, and be time efficient), you’ll see a few other ingredients that will go with the two ingredients you’re working with. Pick one or two, add them in, and go. Didn’t work? My husband always reminds me when I can’t decide on what to make or order at a restaurant, “If it sucks, there’s another meal 3 hours from now”. LOL. True though, right? 

Some of my favourite pairings are:

• tart & spicy: lime & cayenne
• straight up sweet: cinnamon & maple syrup
• rich & spicy: cocoa powder & chilli powder (for real!)
• acidic & herbs: lemon juice & parsley
• salty & sweet: maple syrup & soy sauce

Similar to having my grocery list in order of the grocery store layout to save time, I also have my spice cupboard organized by the things I like to typically pair together, so that as soon as I grab one jar the next one is right beside it. Let me correct that – the cupboard shelves higher than 3 feet (aka the reach of a 16 month old) are organized, hah!

#5: Simple Snacks

When it comes to snacks, my philosophy remains the same. Simple. Few ingredients. As convenient as possible.

I used to make all the things – homemade granola and protein bars and muffins, trying to have really balanced snacks, timing them just right. And it got to be TOO much. When I switched the focus to having heartier balanced meals, my snacks became way less of a need. I still have them and need them to get me from meal to meal, but I’m not needing to make 5 meals a day – which is what my snacks were making it feel like.

Some small steps ahead of time will make your options for super quick snacks multiply:

• Make smoothie bags in batches and keep them in the freezer.
• Pre-chop (or buy pre-chopped) veggies. Have hummus or dip with the plate of veggies so there’s not even any searching for it in the fridge.
• Have grab-and-go fruits on hand: apples, oranges, pears, bananas, grapes.
• Have mini-bags of almonds or trail mix prepped.
• Protein bars stocked.

The tiny step of pre-bagging nuts or trail mix, or making smoothie bags ahead of time, helps to remove as many barriers and choices from around food as you can, and it is SO much easier to eat a healthy balanced diet.

Of course, this doesn’t work for everyone. If you’re training exceptionally hard at a certain time of day, you’re going to need to adjust your meals and snacks accordingly. If you work shift work, or just find more snacks and smaller meals works for you, that’s okay, too. There is NO right or single way to eat. But no matter what your preference: keep it simple, go back to basics, remove as many choices as possible, and keep it convenient.

I have created THREE free worksheets for you to help you get start simplifying your weekly meal planning today:

• Sample Grocery List
• Weekly Meal Planner
• Sample Flavour Combinations

Sign up here to receive all 3 PDF's in your inbox to get started right away.

Body-Neutral vs. Self-Love

Sometimes practicing self-love can feel incredibly forced and fake. We know we should be kind to ourselves, we know we should speak to ourselves like a loving friend, blah blah blah. But on those days, or weeks, or months, when you're just not feeling it, it's almost impossible to practice that lovey-dovey self-love talk when it feels so far from what you're REALLY thinking.

What's helping me a lot as of late is implementing something I learned in one of Neghar Fonooni's courses last year: start with neutral. If you're feeling like crap and picking your body or life apart piece by piece, while saying "I LOVE myself and I look AMAZING!" may help, it may also send you into a deeper negative funnel, fuelled by the the insincerity you're showing yourself, and the fact you now just lied to yourself, on top of already picking yourself apart. Oh viscous cycle.

Instead - find NEUTRAL, and deliver your statement purely as FACT, not opinion. For example, "I'm bigger than I was before having my baby," or, "I'm carrying more fat/less muscle than I was before" are both NEUTRAL FACTUAL statements. Comments riddled with opinion, or those that are negative, or overly positive may not be of much help to you, if any at all.

This weekend I put this into play when we went to an indoor pool for the first time with our daughter. Initially I said I'd come but just watch, using a sore shoulder as my excuse for sitting on the sidelines. But I knew that deep down inside I was partially trying to avoid my bathing suits for the first time in almost 2 years. As I walked to my dresser I said out loud to my husband, "I'm going to wear a two piece today and I'm not going to cry."

I stepped in front of the mirror to ensure the bathing suit I had put on covered me in a public pool appropriate way (turns out my 95% of my pre-baby bathing suits are not mom-at-public-pool-appropriate) , and before the rattling of negative thoughts could spiral out of control I simply observed, "my body is different now, it has more fat than it used to." That's it. Move on. Factual, and neutral.

I can honestly say I have absolute love and respect for my body in what it can and has done for me - it's freaking amazing, and it will continue to be amazing, I hope, for many more years to come. But in this phase where things feel like they've changed SO much SO fast, I don't need to falsely say I 100% love how I look right now. And that's 100% okay.

Try neutral, and try factual. Maybe one day the more positive, kinder words will flow easily. Maybe not. But in the meantime, this neutral space is a much better place to be than being subject to the mean girl voice and all she has to say.

I refuse to miss out on seeing my little girl giggle and laugh and splash and shriek with excitement in the pool, and see the look of joy mixed with fatherly love on my husband's face as he tosses around the little girl we at one point didn't know if we would ever have, all because I'm too ashamed to put on a bathing suit.

And guess what, no one in the entire pool gave a single f#@k about how I looked.

Now you might be wondering, "if you're trying to be exude body confidence, why did you just post your bathing suit and not you in it?". The answer is simple. For one, #internetcreeps. Second, how my body looks should have no impact on your own thoughts of your body. We all have our own story, our own body, our own insecurities, our own strengths. If you can relate to this story, amazing, but I want you to relate to it through your body, not mine. Make sense?

Lastly - why did I post the picture showing the back of my daughter's bathing suit instead of the front? Because that's how she came out of the change room after being dressed by dad. Him, "I think it's on backwards." #dressedbydad

CrossFit Open Workout Considerations

The Open has begun. An exciting time to test yourself, cheer on your friends, and partake in some loud and energized events. 

A time when, if you're pregnant or early postpartum, can be really hard mentally. You know you could probably do the scaled version, but should you? See my last post for reasons why I would recommend revisiting why you're doing the Open this year if you're pregnant or early (less than 2 years) postpartum.

If you are pregnant or postpartum but still want to take part, each week I'll be outlining some considerations in a Facebook Live on Friday's at 2:15pm MST, as well as posting a summary here on my blog.

First off, my disclaimer. Your body is unique, and you and your professional medical team know best what is and isn't appropriate for you at this time, and/or what you are cleared for. Please consult with your Pelvic Health Physiotherapist, Midwife, OB, or Doctor to ensure what you're partaking in is right for your body. I am only providing suggestions on possible ways to modify the workouts - there aren't THE modifications, they are just some ideas on ways you can alter the workouts that may work better for some bodies. The best modifications will be unique to you, and will involve assessing your breathing technique, your alignment, and your execution of the movement itself.

Let's get to the workouts.

18.1 - 20 min AMRAP

• 8 toes-to-bar (scaled: hanging knee raises)
• 10 DB hang clean and jerks (Rx: 35lb, scaled: 20lb)
• 12 cal row

Modification

20 minutes of continuous movement (not balls to the wall - form before fast)

• 8 KB swings OR 8 ring rows
• 10 DB hang clean OR 10 DB single arm push press
• 12 cal row OR bike for equivalent time

Considerations

• Toes-to-bar: Consider the huge amount of pressure these place on your core and pelvic floor. If you insist on doing them, at the very least have someone watch your stomach for coning. [What is coning? It looks like a little mountain ridge popping out of the center of your stomach, usually most visible at the belly button but it can travel both above and below the belly button. It appears due to the internal pressure being forced out through the separating abdominal muscles (diastasis recti)].
• Hang clean and jerks: Consider lowering your weight to one that you are easily able to breath through, *no breath holding! Consider how well you can get the weight overhead for repeated reps without sacrificing your alignment, and thereby affecting your pelvic floor pressure and functioning of.
• Row: Again have someone watch your abdomen for coning, and ensure you are implementing a breathing technique that supports your core and pelvic floor. An alternative if you continue to experience coning, or if you're pregnant to the point it's uncomfortable, would be to swap out the row for a different cardio machine - bike, high incline treadmill walk, etc.

18.2 - 12 minute time cap

• A) 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
• Dumbbell squats (Rx: 35lb, Scaled: 20lb)
• Bar-facing burpees (Scaled: stepping burpees allowed)
• B) 1-rep-max clean

Modification

• A) 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
• Dumbbell squats
• Incline burpees, with step over bar
• B) For remaining time left, perform an EMOM of 5 DB hang clean

Considerations

• DB squat: Consider lowering the weight, changing your breathing pattern to recruit your pelvic floor and avoid bearing down on your pelvic floor, assess your alignment for better functioning of your pelvic floor and core system, and consider shortening your range of motion (not going down as far).
• Burpees: With burpees, consider the pressure they cause on your core, and with jumping over the bar consider the impact of the jump on your pelvic floor and also on your pelvic joints which are loose due to pregnancy hormones (relaxin). A less core intensive alternative would be incline burpees, and a more pelvis friendly alternative would be stepping over the bar.
• 1-rep-max clean: I'm just going to say it... don't do it. What are you testing at this point by doing a 1RM? What are you risking to your pelvic floor? Pelvic floor aside, cleans are an explosive and powerful movement, one where completely healthy athletes who've never been pregnant before have injured themselves. I am not against max testing, but why risk damage to your body for this one thing. I PROMISE you, 1-rep-max testing is still going to be a thing when your body is ready for it:)

Week three, and it's a little insane on the skipping, no?! Even if you aren't pregnant or postpartum this is a crazy amount of volume for your pelvic floor. As I've mentioned before I experienced incontinence well before having a baby, and I have a feeling a ton of women will be slightly fearing this workout. If you are - I highly recommend finding a pelvic health physio in your area to help you with any incontinence issues - it's not normal at ANY age, and a pelvic health physio can help you address this.

18.3 - 14 min time cap:

2 rounds:

• 100 double-unders
• 20 OH squats
• 100 double-unders
• 12 ring muscle-ups
• 100 double-unders
• 20 DB snatches
• 100 double-unders
• 12 bar muscle-ups

My take one it is...

Modification for 18.3

1-2 rounds, 14 minute time cap of continuous movement (not as hard as you can go for 14 minutes):

• 10-15 calorie assault bike OR 250-350m row
• 20 goblet squat or front squat
• 10-15 calorie assault bike OR 250-350m row
• 12 ring rows + 12 floor press
• 10-15 calorie assault bike OR 250-350m row
• 20 DB snatches OR 20 DB hang snatches
• 10-15 calorie assault bike OR 250-350m row
• 12 ring rows + 12 floor press

Considerations

• Double-unders AND single-unders are intense for your pelvic floor, and in my opinion, should be left out of any pregnancy programming, and while it can be introduced into a postpartum program when the individual woman is ready for it, and has worked up to it, it should be introduced slowly and systematically. Definitely not 100 at a time, for multiple rounds. It comes down to risk - I want mom's to know why we're asking them to be kind to their pelvic floors - they've gone through a lot no matter if you had a vaginal birth or cesarian, and even if you don't have diagnosed prolapse, it's still just not worth (in my opinion) the stress on the pelvic floor.
• OH squats I would take down to a front squat (bar) or goblet squat (KB or DB) - reason being is an overhead position can mean more rib thrusting, versus a front squat where your core is definitely forced to work, but in better alignment.
• The deal with the muscle-ups and variations is similar to the discussion on pull-ups from last week and the pressure it puts on your abdomen.
• DB snatches may be okay for most, but I would again consider load, and perhaps doing a hang snatch as well.

18.4 - 9 min time cap:

21-15-9

• Deadlifts 155lb (Scaled: 95lb)
• Handstand push-ups (Scaled: hand-release push-ups)

21-15-9

• Deadlifts 205lb (Scaled: 135lb)
• 50-ft handstand walk (Scaled: bear crawl)

My take one it is...

Modification for 18.4

9 minute time cap of continuous movement (not as hard as you can go for 9 minutes):

11-7-5

• Deadlifts at a reduced weight
• Push-ups, incline push-ups, or DB push-press

11-7-5

• Deadlifts at a reduced weight
• Farmer Carry for 50-ft

Considerations

• Volume: Without even looking at the individual exercises themselves, it works out to 45 reps of each exercise per round, and 180 reps TOTAl for the whole workout. 90 of those 180 reps are just deadlifts. So. Much. Volume. So my first recommendation? Tone down the volume. Above in my modification I've cut the volume in half, for a total of *only* 92 reps for the whole workout, leaving *only* 46 deadlifts.
• Deadlifts: With the volume issue addressed above, the next thing to take note of is the weight. While the scaled weights of 95lb and 135lb may fall under 50% of your 1RM, the point isn't really about what your 1RM is, or was, it's about the load you're putting on your pelvic floor and core, period. 135lb, whether 75% or 50% of your 1RM, is still 135lb being moved over and over for 46 (or 90) reps. That is A LOT of weight. 90 reps of 95lb is 8,550lbs moved. WHOA. I know. I'm throwing a lot of math out today, but bottom line: volume and reps add up to a lot of load for your pelvic floor. So please consider reducing that load, giving yourself time to work up to form, load, and reps, before putting that level of strain on your system. In case you haven't followed previous weeks yet: we're in this for the long-term game, be kind to your body today so you can continue to play for years to come, hopefully symptom free (or at least close to).
• Handstand push-ups & bear crawl: Core pressure considerations here again - how much pressure if being created, are you coning, are you able to control it with breathing and alignment?

Why the Crossfit Open Can Wait

Last year when the Crossfit Open kicked off I was 7 weeks postpartum, a whole week past that magical 6-week clearance from my doctor to resume activity.

I went to one of the Open events to watch and cheer, and was asked by someone as I held our 7-week old daughter, “are you competing today?” I thought the person was joking until I realized they weren’t, and while I think they were just trying to make polite conversation, I was baffled because I know this is the thought process of MANY in the athletic world. Six-week check up, mom was active, obviously she’s ready to hop back in, right?

Omg no.

I was struggling with anxiety hardcore at this time, and still incredibly sleep deprived. The importance of sleep cannot be emphasized enough - you cannot recover from workouts without sleep. Your central nervous system will not function properly without sleep. You cannot recover physically from childbirth - whether vaginal or c-section - without sleep. I’m not going to tell a mom, “sleep when baby sleeps” because I too was shooting daggers when I was told that, but I will say, if you aren’t getting adequate sleep yet - adequate uninterrupted sleep - holding off on strenuous activity, particular the Open, would my strong recommendation.

Sleep aside, let’s talk about the actual format of the Open. It’s exiting, it’s loud, it’s fun, you push yourself and find out what you’re capable of, because you can’t help but get caught up in the music blaring, friends and coaches cheering, and the adrenaline of the clock running. You can’t help but push outside of your comfort zone, and when you’re done the butterflies you went in with are replaced by a great feeling of accomplishment.

But, is your body ready? I don't doubt your mind is.

I don’t doubt you could go out there and do it all in the scaled division. Or muscle through some pretty ugly Rx reps. I don’t doubt you might “feel fine” doing it. I definitely don't doubt your athlete brain is ready to go. And yes, you do have that “doctor’s clearance” behind you.

But can we think about this for a second? Your body grew a human, another entire human being, for 40 weeks give or take. Your pelvic floor supported that little being, plus an entirely new organ your body made just for one purpose, plus 50% increased blood volume, plus still kept you alive (though perhaps not thriving), for those 40 weeks.

Then, you delivered that baby. I don’t care if you had the “easiest, no complications birth” ever - you GAVE BIRTH!! This isn’t like a little orthoscopic procedure where the doctor repaired a torn muscle or ligament - you delivered a human. And I’m sorry, but we got the short end of the evolution stick when it came to birth, because we don’t get to just dig up some sand, drop some eggs, and then hop back in the ocean and swim off like all we did was have a bowel movement. Sea turtles, I envy you a little. For us humans, childbirth is major on our body. Again, no matter the birth story.

If I had had ACL surgery and was on the couch with crutches, I would have been waited on hand and foot. But deliver a baby the size of a melon, and it’s like, “so you doing the Open?" (or for non-Crossfitters, replace "Open" with any other pre-pregnancy activity in full force).

Moms, I COMPLETELY get your desire to want to compete and get back to normalcy. Trust me, I get that so much. But the one thing I hold on to continuously is that I want to be active and healthy for YEARS to come. Not just this year, not just this season. If going out and proving I can do something today means putting my body at risk for longer-lasting injury or life-long conditions, then it’s not for me. Not right now at least.

This is not a “never do Crossfit again”, or “never run”, or "never compete”. This is my plea to you to hold off, just for now, for this short chapter, so that you can enjoy all those things well into your own real-life version of the Golden Girls, or Jerry’s parents in Florida (where my Seinfeld peeps at?). Is the reward of pushing too fast or doing too much now, worth the risk of long-term discomfort? For me, it's not.

This is also not a “be scared of working out.” You can absolutely work out. I encourage you to work out! But I know what type of people Crossfit attracts - because I am one. Lots of former varsity athletes, or currently competing athletes, or people who thrive on competition and want to be pushed. So I know that doing the Open is not “just working out”. It’s pushing, it’s testing, and it’s intense. And as much as you tell yourself, "I'll hold back and be cautious", my guess is you won't drop and do deadbugs instead of toes-to-bar when it comes your time to go, with music blaring and all the spectator eyes on you.

So, for the sake of your pelvic floor, your healing diastasis, your lax joints from the relaxin produced during pregnancy (which also hangs around until 3-6 months post breastfeeding), your exhausted sleep-deprived body - consider holding back, just this year. Build up your strength and conditioning slowly and steadily over the next 12 months, and then return. Return with confidence that YES, you have trained for this, YES, your body is ready for this, and YES you have strategies in place that will allow you to keep working out months beyond the Open.

While I'm 13 months postpartum now, time alone doesn't mean I'm ready. Because of a nagging knee injury that flared up in pregnancy and postpartum, plus finally getting a rotator cuff tear diagnosed (3 years later) my workouts have been incredibly few and far between, and I have not had the chance to build my base back up. And it really does need to be built back up, gradually and methodically.

You will get stronger. You will get your lungs back. Your pelvic floor will regain function so you can skip and box jump without fear of leaking. You’ll be able to kip without worrying about your shoulder joints that have been neglected for months, or worrying about your diastasis with every rep you pull up. You’ll be able to run without pelvic pain or heaviness. But you have to give your body the time it needs to heal, and you have to take the road of slowly and steadily increasing weight, reps, and intensity.

Be the mom getting cheered on by her 5 year old in a few years, not the one continuously in physio over and over again for preventable issues. Sidenote: some issues are not preventable, some are handed to us without choice. But, causing prolapse or separating your abs further from doing high volume, high load, high intensity? Preventable.

You’ll be back. And you’ll be stronger than ever. In becoming a mom, you’ve already become mentally stronger than you ever have been before in your life. Give your physical body the time and grace it deserves to come back to its strength as well.

2019 Edit: Over the next 5 weeks of the Open I’ll be hosting live chats weekly on Thursday nights @ 7pm MT on my IG page @rawfitnessyyc & on Facebook. Click here to add yourself to the FB event to get the reminders.

Dear Pregnant & Waiting

One year ago... Waiting. Wondering. Imagining. Dreaming. Anticipating.

And then…WHAM. Whoa. Holy crap. WTF. Is there a rescue button?!

To the woman in this photo, if I could speak to you while you gaze down at your belly in wondrous naïveté, these are the words I would share…

…motherhood is not going to be what you expected. It’s going to be so so much harder than you imagined, and for very different reasons than you had pictured. But, it’s also going to be infinitely more incredible than you dreamed. You will develop a bond like no other, and you will lover harder than you thought one's heart ever could.

…drop all your preconceived notions. Let things be as they are, and unfold in their own way. Drop what you think your days will look like. When you expect to go back to the gym. If you’ll go back to the gym. What you think your body will or won’t look like. What you think your body will or won’t feel like. How you will adjust mentally to being a mom. How you will adjust to being a mother, and still a wife. How your friendships will change - because they will change. Trust that everything is temporary. And trust that not all change is bad. Know that it’s all going to be okay. 

…ask for help. It does not make you weak. It does not make you a failure. It does not make you a bad mother, wife, or person. It makes you brave. It makes you a better mother, wife, and person. You don’t need to wait it out if things feel like too much to handle. Ask.

… rely on the sisterhood that comes with motherhood. Find a few honest and kind moms who get it, and who will support you with love, honesty, and kindness. Lean on them for advice, for open talks, and the silent all-knowing hugs. You don’t need to repay them in any way. Repayment will take shape when one day, I imagine, you will become the one hugging a new mom letting her know that it’s all totally normal, totally okay, and it WILL get better. It does get better.

…your relationship with your husband will change. You will instantly see him in a completely new and fascinating way, with love bursting through every part of your body that very first time he holds your baby in his arms, looks down at their little face, and you know he’s telling your baby, only moments old, that he swears to take care of them forever. [Kleenex run…okay I'm back]. You will also, unfortunately, resent him for his unchanged body, his ability to book a teeth cleaning without worrying about a baby, and you will take out the tired days on him. Be open and honest with each other, and be kind to each other. The love that brought you together to make this little human is still there, keep nurturing it. A simple hour alone together over lunch and a drink is an instant refresher and reminder of why you chose each other.

…above all, be kind to yourself. This shit is hard, and you’re doing great. No, truly – you are doing GREAT. With everything constantly in flux, know that the uncertainty and chaos is temporary. This is just one small season. Make embracing imperfection your daily mantra. Be kind. You are doing great.

P.S. - Great job packing a huge supply of snacks in the hospital bag. Definitely do that again if there's ever a baby #2. Snacks are life. (See? I told you you're doing great.)

If you're currently pregnant, recently postpartum, or years postpartum, January session registration is open for a variety of classes to suit all skill and ability levels, as well as provide some of that great motherhood sisterhood support. Click here to view training options: rawfitnessyyc.com/prepostnatal.

A Few of My Favourite Things

Here are some of my top pics for the active person in your life. Or yourself;)

My good intentions meant to have this to you sooner, but many of these item can be picked up easily around Calgary, and *most* shipping is still guaranteed before Christmas Eve.

 

To Move

1. Kettlebell + Resistance Bands + Dumbbells: For a home gym, these would be the bare minimums I'd recommend starting with. The versatility of these items will let you do tons of different movements!
2. Swell Water Bottle: How I don't have one of these yet is beyond me. Keeps liquid cold, keeps liquid hot, and has designs to suit any taste. If I were to put one in my stocking this year, my pick is "Smokey Eye".
3. Junction 9 gift cards: Give the gift of de-stressing! And I mean, there's always Raw Fitness YYC training packages available as well;)

To Pamper

1. Sucre Body Sugaring Boutique gift certificate: These ladies will make you feel brand new! Not only that, if you give them enough advance notice there is a kid's play room in case you need to bring your little ones, and don't want them in the room with you. Sometimes they are even baby-whisperers and you'll want to stay all afternoon.
2. Distilled Beauty Bar gift certificate: Coffee, wine, nails. Turn off your phone and enjoy your time to get pampered!

To Eat

1. Little Tucker Energy Bites: To be honest my all time favourite will forever be the Snickers Bar, but the Energy Bites travel much better in your gym bag or purse or diaper bag. Perfect stocking stuffer.
2. RxBar: Super simple ingredients, and they TASTE GOOD! Rare for protein bars (in my opinion). I have at least 3-4 bags of Lara Bites stashed between all my bags and the car. Fight the hanger with these stocking stuffers.
3. Chef's Plate gift certificate: They deliver all the ingredients, pre-portioned, and with easy to follow to recipes, and you've got a delicious healthy meal in 30 minutes.
4. Fit Kitchen gift certificate: Don't have 30 minutes? Fit Kitchen has pre-portioned meals for all times of the day plus snacks, offering small and large sizes so you can tailor to each person in your household.

To Wear

1. Nike Free Flyknit: A client gifted these to me for my birthday a couple years ago, and they are still my absolute favourite comfortable shoe. Bonus: If you're pregnant all the stretch in the fabric means you can double-knot those laces when you're still able to reach your toes, and not worry about un-tying them ever again!
2. Nike Metcon: My favourite training shoe. I think I'm on my ... fourth (?) pair. Rigid enough to do rope climbs or Olympic lifting, but flexible enough you can still skip, run, or jump in them.
3. Love for Lewiston apparel: Support an amazing cause while gearing both the bigs and the littles in some super comfy and cute gear. I have the Dance Party sweatshirt and I didn't take it off for 5 days. Maybe 6. Who's counting.
4. Lululemon Wunder Under Hi-Rise Tight Full-On Luxtreme: The Align Pant was my pregnancy favourite because it's SO soft and flexible, but the Full-On Luxtreme in the Wunder-Under offers more coverage and shows wear (aka piling) much less than my Align's have.
5. Lululemon Secret Sock: The best sock! When I wear socks that is. Fact: I hate socks, I am barefoot at home 99% of the year. These are so discreet I love them with both runners as well as casual shoes, and they have little heel grips on the inside to keep them from slipping down.
6. Lululemon Namastay Put Thong & Hipster: The fabric on these is the softest ever. And moms, this thong is the ONLY thong I've returned to postpartum. You get me.

To Read

1. Bee Love, Kristen Hallet: An adorable gift for a little one, with the simple message we can all incorporate into our day, big or small, Bee Love.
2. Unplugged, Brian Mackenzie, Dr. Andy Galpin, & Phil White: This book eloquently puts into words my feelings on all the technology for fitness. Personally, I believe we rely much too heavily on gadets to tell us when we're hungry, when we're full, when we've exercised hard, when we haven't exercised enough - and I just don't buy it (literally, and figuratively).
3. The Daily Stoic, Ryan Holiday: The number of times I've read the daily reading and been like "OH MY GOSH THIS BOOK JUST GETS ME TODAY" is pretty much every time I open it. Great if daily reflection or journaling is part of your day.
4. The Gifts of Imperfection, Brene Brown: This book makes it's way onto so many reading lists, for good reason. It's one of those ones you can revisit over and over and get something new from it. It reads with kindness, something we can all offer ourselves a little more of on a daily basis.
5. Why Me Want Eat, Krista Scott-Dixon: An easy read, Krista Scott-Dixon provides a humorous take on our current diet-culture.

Why My Goal Is To Be Completely UnBalanced

I don’t know how long “balance” has been my word, but it’s far enough back that in University when people started getting tattoos I was like, “ya, I’d get one, maybe one that illustrates balance.” I am happy to report there is not a libra-scale permanently on my body, but I did continue to grip the concept of balance tightly nonetheless. 

Balance between work, play, fitness, nutrition, family, and friends has long been my obsessive goal. I viewed balance as the ONLY way to go about life. I strived for it in every way. My balancing act involved going all out in everything. If you’re thinking this sounds unattainable and exhausting -  it was.

Through both independent as well as course-led self-discovery work, I realized it wasn't balance I was striving for. It was perfection. And it was not working for me anymore. [Side note: If self-discovery work interests you, I highly encourage you to check out Neghar Fonooni. I have a slight (huge) girl-crush on her.]

Somehow I had warped balance to mean doing well in ALL things. Balance, as I had created it to mean in my head, meant doing no less than 80% in every category. So really, balance was a whole lot of work. And ironically, I was actually completely unbalanced.

How can we possibly be performing at 80% or higher in every aspect of our lives? It’s just not possible. At least not for the long run, and not if mental health and low levels of anxiety are anywhere on your “balanced” list.

Previously if you were to ask me, “what are your priorities?” I’d list off family, work, fitness, health, friends, play. Sooooo basically everything. Let’s talk about what “priorities” actually are. If you haven’t read Essentialism yet, do it. In Essentialism, Greg McKeown talks about priorities:

The word priority came into the English language in the 1400s. it was singular. It meant the very first or prior thing... Only in the 1900s did we pluralize the term and start talking about priorities. Illogically, we reasoned that by changing the word we could bend reality. Somehow we would now be able to have multiple “first” things.

Boom! I love this. We can’t have multiple “first” things, and we can’t be operating at 80% or better in every.single.category. Let's be honest, even better than 50% at all aspects of life sounds pretty daunting.

The benefits of acknowledging "balance" wasn’t working for me?

Sanity. Taking mass amounts of pressure off. Acknowledging my limitations was relieving. Realizing that the reason I feel like I’m not balancing it all, is because I’m not, and I can’t, and it’s not reasonable to expect it of myself or anyone else.

One blog post I came across recently that particularly hit home on this topic is “Embracing Your Life’s Seasons" by Taylor of SheThrivesBlog.com.

The title alone tugged at me. We are constantly in flux between seasons. Those seasons will continue to change, sometimes by our own doing, sometimes not. The season I am in right now looks much different than it did a little over a year ago. My time is dedicated to raising a little human. There are some small pockets of time to myself, and with effort and support from family or a babysitter my husband and I get time for just the two of. But the singular priority I have daily, my one “first”, is raising my little girl.

I'm learning to embrace my season. Right now, my season does not include running a full time business, having perfectly prepped nutritional meals at all times of the day, nor does it include being a full time recreational athlete. Each season has limited space in it, and right now, those things don't fit. When I finally released the pressure I was putting on myself to have a perfectly tidy house, perfectly planned meals, and perfectly regular workouts, a huge weight was lifted.

Do I miss things from previous seasons? Absolutely. Do I want to re-introduce things from them when the timing is right? Absolutely. But now is not the time. And I’m slowly accepting and embracing that. That doesn't mean that all those things aren't important to me anymore - of course I want to eat as healthy as possible, and get in daily movement, and spend time with my husband and friends. But, it does mean those acts look different than they used to.

In less time than I’m ready for I know my little one will be pulling on her backpack and running up the steps to her first day of school. And there I’ll suddenly be, with more hours in a day to myself than I’ll have had in 5 years. Another seasonal shift. I have a feeling when that day comes and I’m likely bawling into my coffee cup like so many mom friends have shared they did, that I won’t look back and say, “man, I wish I gave up more sleep so I could go to the gym 6 days a week.” Or, “I can’t believe I fed us mac & cheese because I chose to take our little girl around the neighbourhood in her sled along with my husband and dog, instead of staying behind to make a proper Pinterest worthy meal" – whatever that looks like.

No. I want to look back, and know that I fully and completely embraced my current season, and gave it my all. I hope this year has prepped me to accept the next big shift more gracefully than this time, because let me tell you – this time was messy, and don't think for a second that this mindset shift came as easily as an Amazon Prime order. A lot of tears. A lot of resentment. Anxiety. Reading. Courses. And days where it all fell apart and felt like I was starting at square one again.

To be completely above board, I almost didn't post this because the day after I wrote it I had one of the toughest "I miss my old life, and I miss my old healthy body" days than I'd had in a long time. But it just reminded me of one of my favourite terms from Neghar's course: I am a "recovering perfectionist". Recovering, because it's going to take effort and time to embrace this season, and the next, and the next, and the next... And there will be days when it feels like it's all unravelling. But, as with anything, the important thing isn't what I thought or did yesterday, it's what I'm choosing to tell myself today, what I'm choosing to do today.

Today, right now, I'm continuing to strive for a completely and wonderfully unbalanced life. It’s freeing, refreshing, and I never would have thought being this unbalanced would leave me feeling so grounded.

A Letter To New Moms

From this week until the end of December, we are expecting 7 new babies in our family and friends circle, and it got me reminiscing on those first days of motherhood. My daughter was born on the 7th, on a Saturday, so at this time exactly 9 months ago I was about to become a mom in less than 24 hours. And my world would be rocked!

Just shy of my daughter being 2 weeks old, my cousin came to visit for some baby snuggles. With a gift was a letter she had written, passing on some sage mom wisdom being a mom of two herself.

I BAWLED the first time I read the letter - I mean, I was 2 weeks postpartum and perhaps slightly (okay totally) overwhelmed and hormonal. But still. I think I only made it half way down the page the first time I read it because I literally couldn't see through the waterworks of tears.

For any women about to become a mom, or perhaps has recently become a mom, I would like to pass on my cousin's loving words (with her permission), in the hopes that perhaps it will give you a bit of reassurance and comfort during this absolute whirlwind time. Let's be honest, I just re-read it and cried again, it's great advice no matter where you are on your motherhood journey.

Let me start by saying how very happy I am for you and your new family! This is an exciting time that will without a doubt trump all other moments in your life thus far. As a fellow mom, I feel it is my duty to warn you about all the “super helpful” thoughts, ideas, and suggestions you will receive in the next while, and remind you that on those days you think you are going crazy…nope, you really are just normal. So, without further ado, here are my thoughts for you:

A little advice on taking advice:

Take all the “offered” advice with a grain of salt. Always remember, “mother knows best”…meaning you!

When someone offers help, take it! This does not make you weak, this makes you smart.

You will have those days that being short on sleep and overtired get the best of you, and you may look at that baby and say, “holy shit, what did I do!” Don’t feel bad, this makes you normal, and anyone that tells you they never had one of these moments is lying to you. Rest assured, when that sweet baby curls up in your arms and falls asleep to the rhythm of your heart, you will fall in love all over again.

Your baby does not come with a program, as each and every child and situation is unique, so take what you want from all those baby self-help books, and brainwashing Google sites, and toss the rest away.

Take guilt-free time for YOU! These are necessary sanity breaks, and YOU DESERVE THEM!

Join a baby group, but don’t get caught up in the comparison game. Some women will tell you that their child is perfect no matter what…seek out the ones that make you feel normal, not inadequate.

Lastly, don’t forget each other. After all, this baby wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for the love that brought the two of you together. Some day that little baby will grow up and get a life of it’s own, and you don’t want to lose sight of each other and your marriage in the meantime. You will find date night takes on a whole new meaning once you have a baby – it means you get to eat a meal while it’s actually hot, wear something other than yoga pants and a hoodie with barf, poop, or snot on it, and perhaps even risk the idea of putting on a regular bra again, even just for an hour or two.

I can’t wait to watch your little baby grow and become the beautiful little person she is destined to be.

With Love