It's pretty easy to post our successes and those moments showcasing ourselves when we come out on top. But how 'bout the rest of our lives? You know, the not-so-successful parts like burnt pancakes, bloated stomachs, crying kids, failed job interviews, the trips and the falls - aka, real everyday life.
The above picture is a screen grab from a video clip I did a few months ago after getting a random email from a lady inquiring if I'd like to audition for an UnderArmour commercial being shot in Calgary. She'd found me via Instagram, and they were looking for local personal trainers to be part of the commercial.
I could immediately think of numerous more fit and athletic personal trainers than me in Calgary, and actually considered writing back to the lady with the contact info for these 10 or so other people. I responded back instead to her email out of sheer curiosity, wondering perhaps if it was a scam and if I should expect a "just send us your credit card number and your bank info and SIN and you'll be all signed up" response. Turns out, it was legit. No request for sketchy money requests. So I made my video based on the audition requirements, submitted it, and told myself I couldn't be disappointed if I didn't get a call back because 24 hours ago being in an UnderArmour commercial had never even crossed my mind as a goal. Ever. Yet suddenly I wanted it. So of course I was disappointed when she emailed a few days later with, "sorry, but I will keep you on file for future spots."
As much as I tried not to I still fell into negative self talk. "I'm not fit enough / strong enough / if I had more time to prepare / eat better / train harder / etc." It probably didn't help that I'd already picked out a bunch of clothes on the UnderArmour website that I might possibly get to wear for the shoot (🙈II know, I know!). What this all turned out to be was a clear and great reminder for me of one of the things I bring up with clients - what are your goals, your values, your priorities? No where on my list of goals is "be in an athletic commercial". Would it be awesome? Of course! You know what else would be awesome? Being a top chef, or breaking a Canadian track record, starting the next equivalent bake shop to Crave Cupcakes, or maybe making the Top 40 under 40 list with a new business. But if I'm not working towards any of those goals every single day like my life depends on it, I absolutely cannot be upset when it doesn't happen.
For me, I value balance - balance between meals out with my husband on the weekend, brunch with my girlfriends, and family birthday dinners and holiday meals but also keeping it real 80%-90% the rest of the time to ensure I'm the healthiest version of myself to be able to do all the things I love to do. Will I get magazine worthy abs out of that? Nope, but I prioritize social time out with friends over being on such a rigid eating regime that I can't even go out for a meal unless I show up with my own tupperware. I have a goal to be a positive role model for my child(ren), being an example of balanced and stress-free eating by letting them see that you can enjoy ice cream on vacation while still being a healthy active person - it doesn't have to be a tug of war between the two. Point is, you cannot be mad at yourself for not having something if your goals, priorities, values, and the action you take based on those things aren't all in line with what you "think" you want. This balance is what works for me, keeps me sane, balanced, and happily able to enjoy all aspects of my life. There's nothing wrong with having goals that do involve tupperware meals or skipping social events to keep to your training and eating plan - but just make sure you are operating in line with your goals, values, and priorities. No matter what those are, if your actions match those, you will be able to look back at the end of each day proud of your actions. But don't beat yourself up for not reaching a goal that you aren't ready to throw yourself into 110% day after day. Be honest with yourself, and match your efforts to the outcomes you want. I guarantee if you look at the areas you're most successful in right now, they are the ones you've put the most time and effort into. Very rarely do we get what we want without hard work, consistency, and a great amount of patience to trust the process.
Try. And be ready to accept failure. Try. And be ready to accept success. In either case, keep moving on. Keep bettering yourself for you. Don't let someone else's opinion of you affect your day for more than 5 minutes - whether for good or bad. Know your worth, and be okay with all parts of you - the strong, the messy, and everything in between. All that real life human stuff.